4 nights in the Val Gardena valley should just about give me enough time to get through every beer from the local brewery - Monpiër de Gherdëina. Presumably inspired by Station Bar and Pizzeria, Katoomba, every beer is named after a peak and helpfully contains the height of said peak on the label.

Note: beers presented in order of tasting.

Note: it turns out it took me a week to drink all these beers, hence this blog is being posted from the shore of the Lago di Garda and not the Dolomites as originally anticipated.

🍺 Scilier 2457

Keller Pils ⭐⭐

Upon arriving in Italy I was puzzled as to why everyone drinks German beers. This beer may well be the answer. Not as clean as a pils, and no redeeming features other than the fact that it’s a cold beer.

🍺 Latemar 2846

Märzen Rauch ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I don’t know if the disappointment of the Keller influenced me here, but this one knocked my socks off. Smoke, smoke and more smoke, deliciously rounded out with a lingering smoky aftertaste. It’s basically a beer version of an Islay whisky.

The only thing that prevents it from getting the full six stars is the colour - a little bit on the muddy side. A dash of ruby red would make this the perfect beer.

🍺 Secëda 2519

West Coast IPA ⭐⭐⭐

Not a lot to say about this one. It does exactly what it says on the label. 7.6% although it actually tastes a little bit light so could be dangerous if you bought a six pack, but luckily I have other fish to fry. Maybe give it an extra half star since we actually summitted this mountain.

🍺 Marmolada 3348

Witbier ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Just a good honest witbier - with a delicate hint of banana from the yeast. Far superior to any of the mass produced witbiers we have been sampling over the past week.

🍺 Schwarzenstein Sasso Nero 3369

Schwarzbier ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Dark, malty and toasty. Not quite up there with the Rauch, but pretty close. I like it!

🍺 Denali McKinley 6190

IPA ⭐⭐⭐

Pretty standard beer - not too bad. Also, I feel like maybe this mountain is not actually located in the Dolomites. Further research required.

🍺 3 Cime Zinnen 2999

Stout ⭐⭐

Ok so I have sampled my fair share of tasty stouts in my time, so this review is a little biased, however… Despite a minor similarity to perennial favourite Boatrocker, this stout is a little bit lifeless and middle of the road.

🍺 Saslonch 3181

Helles Ladina ⭐⭐⭐

Eminitently drinkable, but not particularly memorable.

🍺 Sas Dla Crusc 3026

Vienna Lager ⭐⭐⭐⭐

A very well balanced beer with some delicious biscuit and toast notes.

Note: at this point we are up to the limited edition beers which no longer seem to be named after mountains, but they do come in 50cL bottles which is a bonus.

🍺 Piersëch

Honey Saison ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Saison is one of my favourite beer styles and this one doesn’t disappoint. A subtle addition of honey along with a light dusting of spices complement the fresh saison base. Could have been closer to a six star rating with a little bit more definition on the spices, but otherwise an excellent drop.

🍺 Pieralongia 2290

Session IPA ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I had put off tasting this one because a) it’s gluten free, and b) it’s a session ale. But we embarked on a 10km walk with 500m of vertical ascent, so I packed this for a half way boost. It was the perfect beer for the situation. My only regret is not packing two of them.

🍺 Edelbais

Specialty Ale ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Back to the specialty beers. This one contains edelbais (also known as edelweiß in German, stella alpina in Italian, or edelweiss in English) and riosa de bosch (also known as waldmeister in German, asperula in Italian, or woodruff in English).

Unlike the mixture of Ladin, German, Italian and English used in the Val Gardena, this beer is quite simple, with a delicious hint of the mountains infused in every sip. I was originally going to award it five stars, but due to the generous 50cL bottle it managed an upgrade to six stars by the time I finished this review.

🍺 Saspat 2969

Golden Ale ⭐⭐⭐

Call me old fashioned, but I like a golden ale to have a clearly defined hop profile, possibly with a delicious dose of mosaic or cascade featuring heavily.

This beer, whilst golden, just has a rather generic hallertau tinge to it which doesn’t really go with the style. A disappointing experience.

🍺 Eguia: Handcrafted Barley

Wine Barrel Ale ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Ok so we have left the Val Gardena but I still have some beers to catch up on, including this mystery guest beer that is made by another brewery in the same valley! Sonia went to a fancier supermarket and found it for me.

This is one of those beers that I quite like but everyone else will probably not. The strong malt base is carried along with a healthy dose of Brettanomyces, stealthily concealing the 11% alcohol kick. As with the initial rauchbier from way back when, the colour is slightly muddy, which means another fine beer misses out on that coveted sixth star, but I would definitely drink this again. But probably not because it is limited edition and I don’t have any immediate plans to return to Val Gardena.

🍺 Eguia: Handcrafted Sfumieda

Rauchmärzen ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Another mystery guest beer here, and a rival to the Monpiër de Gherdëina rauchmärzen. Unfortunately, whilst delicious, this one doesn’t quite deliver the multi-layered full-frontal smoke assault that you get down the road in Ortisei. I mean sure, if you like a subtle dose of smoke in your märzen, then go for it. It has quite a pleasant lingering aftertaste. But, I just don’t think it does the style justice.

🍺 Odles 3025

Amber Ale ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Ok, back to the Monpiër limited edition beers… and the penultimate taster - the amber ale.

Remember when the original James Squire Amber Ale came out? This reminds me of that - malty without being stodgy, flavoursome without being heavy. A reasonable dose of hops that doesn’t get in the way of the creamy mouthfeel. And a lovely amber glow in the glass, backlight by the sunset over Lago di Garda.

🍺 Pütia 2875

IPA ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Well, this is somewhat of a celebratory beer. Despite being around 180km from Urtijëi / Ortisei / St Ulrich, I have finally managed to finish their roster of 15 beers, along with a couple of mystery guests.

This one is kind of like an IPA for people who liked IPAs before the craft beer industry sailed in (get it?) with their XPAs, IIPAs, etcPAs, etc. In other words, a heavy hand of whatever hop is available (I think maybe some kind of hallertau variant) plus a slightly strong (6.6%) base to carry the favours.

It just tastes like beer

— Sonia

And there you have it. 5,000+ years of research and development, captured in five words.

Conclusion

Let’s do this in some kind of Q&A format. In the first person, so you’re asking me the questions. You’ll get the idea.

Should I go to Val Gardena? Yes

Do I need to speak Italian to get around? No.

Oh, so everyone speaks English? No.

Well what language do the locals speak? Ladin?

Do I need to learn Ladin? No.

Then what language does everyone speak in the Val Gardena? German.

Despite the fact that Val Gardena is in Italy and all the locals speak Ladin? Yes.

Will there be delicious beers? Yes

Will there be scenic views? Yes

Will there be some awesome skiing/biking depending on what season I arrive? Yes

Is it time for Stu to go to bed? Yes